How I met Ken

From my old diary...

Labor Day, 1997, September 1st, Rehoboth Beach, Delaware (Gay DC on the water). I am totally sick of my job and actually had just had my first interview at CEDPA (my former job) and was waiting to see if I would get a second. I very much did not feel like coming back to DC on that Monday so I could go to work that Tuesday. A trip that usually takes two hours takes upwards of 6 due to all the traffic and I was not particularly energized. I was staying at my roommates beach house, and he told me to stay and just lock up when I came home the next day. I decided I would. I ran into friends Barry and Paul and convinced them to join me in staying, at least until later (Paul eventually decided to leave and I drove Barry back to DC the next day). SO, short story long, we went to dinner and did the usual thing, and then we went to the Blue Moon for drinks. It is a mostly outdoor bar, where *everyone* goes pre and post dinner before going out. (Note: I used to go out out, now I am pretty much too old for that and I make the Blue Moon my last stop...) Oh, I left out one minor detail. At my roommates beach house, left over from the prior weekend's party of some sort, was a two foot high blond beehive wig, cats eye rhinestone glasses, and a tiara. For some reason still not clear to me, my friends and I decided to haul these to the bar. After we had all had about 3 drinks a piece (hey, we weren't driving and were on vacation...), we began passing them around. Ken apparently looked over at one point and saw a 6'4" tall man (that would be me) in a two foot high wig and couldn't resist laughing. (Note to the confused people: we were not doing drag, we were putting on a bad bad wig and laughing at ourselves. Not that there is anything wrong with pushing the gender stereotypes, GO Ru Paul, but that was not what we were doing. We might as well have been putting on a giant condom costume or something because that was what we were doing, just having fun with it.) So, anyway, Ken was about 6 months out of a relationship (ie looking for another) and I was about 4 months out of one (ie looking for sex, not another fucked up man because that's all I kept finding). Ken asked his friend Will to go up to the first guy that Ken said he liked and find out info about him. I realize that this is childish behavior, I don't know, don't ask me. But note that the guy that Ken liked was NOT me. This, of course, is a fact I love to throw out and make fun of when appropriate. After finding out that the first guy was some hairhopper from Atlanta, Will came back and asked if there was another he was interested in. Ken, having seen me without the wig on as well, pointed to me, and Will said something like 'that queen with the gigantic bouffant wig on?!?' Needless to say, we had met. My friend Paul that was staying with Barry and I until later that night knew Ken. I had seen Ken on the beach earlier talking to Paul and thought he was cuuuuute, loved his body. So when Will comes over, I tell him that his friend is cute but this is ridiculous, if he wants to talk to me he can march himself over to me. :-) So, Ken comes over. Poor Ken, thank God he had had a couple, because if not, I would have gotten annoyed and left him standing there. Ken and I are like night and day in some ways. Ken is quieter, and really not easy to get to know. Those cards are kept close to his chest and guarded. Me, on the other hand, I was probably spouting about my Dad being a nasty abuser within the first five minutes of meeting him. I think that this alone excited (and scared) him. Hell, I know it sounds conceited, but lets face facts: I can charm the pants off a man (literally!) pretty easily. Its keeping him that is a problem. :-) I got over the fact that he was a fireman within about 10 minutes (okay, not really, I mean, I am blase' about it now, but I still love to see the look in both men and women's eyes when I say Ken is one..., I know, so I'm bragging) and found that I really liked him. One thing about Ken that mystified me was his different background than my own (he is 100% Lebanese, and looks kind of like a greek boy) and the fact that he was incredibly grounded. He had been in a 12+ year relationship in which they had bought two houses, he had his own company, etc... I, on the other hand, traveled to circuit parties and was more worried about the next happy hour than I was in saving for a house. I should also say, I was young (okay, 30+ is still kind of young, shut up) and I still think that if that is what you need to do, you do it. There is nothing wrong with being the party party queen flitting back and forth from bar to bar and all the stereotypes that go with it. I mean, I needed some hard knock education, and I think I got it there. Much better to learn 'on the streets' as it were than to have to make the mistakes later on when I was in a relationship.

Lordy, I got sidetracked. So, Ken and I eventually get ice cream and walk around the town before going to my car and talking even more. I soon enough get up the nerve to ask him if he would like to come back to the beach house, and he accepts (he was staying at his parents beach place in Ocean City, MD, 22 miles south). We go back and I eventually coax him to the bedroom, where we proceed to get naked and.... talk all night. :-) Until dawn. I take him back to his car, we exchange information and he drives back to OC (so he can drive back to DC that morning, I am still staying). I knew he was different when he didn't want to complete the act that night. But don't get me wrong, I had checked out the equipment to make sure that it was functional. ;-)

That seems like so so so long ago, and it in a way was: nearly 9 years. How my life has changed. Mostly for the better, even. :-)

So, theres my story. Did I leave anything out? Oh yeah, they lived happily ever after. :-)