Stretch THIS!

I just was reminded of a lovely childhood collectible by Princess Sparkle Pony (whom I adore). This made me remember a simpler time when all I thought about was how to scam the next toy from my parents. The year: 1976. Russ sees a Kenner ad on TV that blows his mind. A really hunky wrestler that you can PULL ON ITS BODY PARTS TO STRETCH THEM. Now, if I didn’t know at 11 that I was gay, I still see how it is possible that my MOM was so surprised when I told her. I mean, hello, the guy had on a BIKINI of all things. Yes, I am talking about, for those other hairdressers out there who also lusted in their hearts unaware, of Stretch Armstrong. Oh how I loved to try my best and pull him apart, and he would deform, only to once again when left alone to ever-so-slowly return to his normal shape.

I played with him for a while until I got bored and found something else. We eventually threw him out when he leaked out of his elbow and ate a hole in the rug in my room.